Goblin Mercantile Exchange

Unless you can get a good dental plan.

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Evening has this job. She works for a consulting company to create “product memes”: hitting on gentlemen at bars, taverns, pubs, and vinieras solely for the purpose of ingratiating product x (shoes, deodorant, beer, anti-beer energy drink) into the mindset of the “amorous target.” Most of the time guys don’t even really know the difference, [...]

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Went with Quail to lunch today. I don’t know, some place with food and tables. There was service. She told me all about the minor details of her life, and then she said something about would you like to see the raccoon in my backpack. Is this some kind of phrase, I said. Some kind [...]

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Wearing ye olde oven mitts to bed, now that’s what I call classy. Still. To divine her arms.

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Pike as in polearm, and not fish. It came three days ago. Now that’s what I call shipping.

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I don’t think Evening and Quail like each other very much. A supposition. They’ve only met a few times, at least in my presence. Now, granted, my presence is often thin, full of ether. Sometimes other people’s hands pass through me. Sometimes it’s not as though I can tell them apart. But once an old [...]

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Things have a way of ending. It turned out to tell the truth. That is, Thermy was only making a promotional appearance at the Mall of America. To promote meat safety. As he is wont to do. We all had a good laugh over his drunken break in. We sutured his wound, etc. Even Evening [...]

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No. Literally, Thermy is in my house. Or rather, a guy in a thermometer suit. (note: artist’s representation, through shutter technology) Breaking into my window, he’s slurring his words. He’s in the kitchen. He’s got a gun! No, wait, that’s just a sandwich. It is exciting to be typing this when the house is in [...]

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Thermy in the house.

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Evening thinks I’m insane. But what the fuck do crazy people know, anyway?

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Whoa. Many apologies. Quail snuck up behind me and put her hands on my neck. Severity? Unclear. So when I woke up right around 5-25 minutes ago she didn’t even leave a note. But she’ll be returning, like a tetherball to a physically educated face. What was I talking about? Oh, right. Also, Tom Daschle [...]

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I wake up in the middle of the night and someone’s sitting on the foot of my bed. I can’t tell for sure. I think it’s Quail, haven’t seen her in parts for awhile. Nooks neither. But the hair isn’t white. Shapes drew other shapes along the wall. Having nothing better to do, I woke [...]

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This just in! Evening never never wants me to talk about her ever again. After she left she cooked me something with garlic but she never showed me what it was. It was only described on the telephone. She never wants me to mention her name again. She has black hair. Fuck, imagine that. For [...]

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Start yer own! I like this. This is a link. It takes me places. I was talking to Evening last night and she said that she didn’t think there were things such as links. But what the fuck. I do not approve of the gray space to the right of you. It encroaches like dead [...]

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