Comments on: The Caged Tulip http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/2010/04/the-caged-tulip/ Futures, Options, and Swaps (the weblog of Alan DeNiro) Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:35:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Paul Jessup http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/2010/04/the-caged-tulip/comment-page-1/#comment-521257 Paul Jessup Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:21:10 +0000 http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/?p=1246#comment-521257 This line made my day "And I guess when you actually fight for your soul do you come to believe that the soul exists." You know what's even worse than going through this? Having two kids, watch them gravitate towards the nerdy and intellectual, and know that they too will have to face that horrid pain in a few years. And trying to figure out how to save them from that. No one should have to live through that. PS- When we talked after the reading, you said something that changed me in a way. I think you're right- I'm wondering what I want from my own career now. And I think I'd rather want to work part time still and have the freedom to write crazycoolfun stuff then try and write for a living, and write stuff that just doesn't love me the way I want it too. Lot of fun talking to you and your wife. Hopefully next time your in Erie you can stop by and say hi again. This line made my day

“And I guess when you actually fight for your soul do you come to believe that the soul exists.”

You know what’s even worse than going through this? Having two kids, watch them gravitate towards the nerdy and intellectual, and know that they too will have to face that horrid pain in a few years.

And trying to figure out how to save them from that. No one should have to live through that.

PS-
When we talked after the reading, you said something that changed me in a way. I think you’re right- I’m wondering what I want from my own career now. And I think I’d rather want to work part time still and have the freedom to write crazycoolfun stuff then try and write for a living, and write stuff that just doesn’t love me the way I want it too.

Lot of fun talking to you and your wife. Hopefully next time your in Erie you can stop by and say hi again.

]]> By: Alan http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/2010/04/the-caged-tulip/comment-page-1/#comment-521251 Alan Mon, 19 Apr 2010 03:06:11 +0000 http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/?p=1246#comment-521251 Glad I could help. :) And you're right, it's exceedingly strange, now in my 30s, to stumble upon people with so much negative power on me in the past. In that sense I really feel like a different person, in that looking back on that threat makes it seem like the opposite end of a telescope...they were trying to hurt me because they were hurting themselves, in all likelihood. And coming from a place of smallness. But it's definitely, definitely odd. Glad I could help. :) And you’re right, it’s exceedingly strange, now in my 30s, to stumble upon people with so much negative power on me in the past. In that sense I really feel like a different person, in that looking back on that threat makes it seem like the opposite end of a telescope…they were trying to hurt me because they were hurting themselves, in all likelihood. And coming from a place of smallness. But it’s definitely, definitely odd.

]]> By: Christopher Barzak http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/2010/04/the-caged-tulip/comment-page-1/#comment-521246 Christopher Barzak Sun, 18 Apr 2010 20:56:32 +0000 http://www.goblinmercantileexchange.com/?p=1246#comment-521246 You know, I really needed this today. I actually did stumble upon a former tormentor's facebook, and had to look, you know, to assess and see what he had become and if it was any different than he was then, or even if I could muster some other kind of feeling toward or for him than the ones I had in high school. It was really hard to even look at the page, but I made myself do it. It stirred up a lot of icky feelings in me that I've tried to put away, for good reasons, but I'm at a place now where I think I can look at some of those things and try to make something from them, because I feel like I'm in a place now where I might actually be able to do that, as opposed to who I was in those years of powerlessness when I wasn't able to articulate anything about myself in a way that would have ever approached the point of being able to stand up for myself. Writing, for me, became a place where I learned how to do that, and am still learning. I think a struggle for a soul is appropriate terminology. You know, I really needed this today. I actually did stumble upon a former tormentor’s facebook, and had to look, you know, to assess and see what he had become and if it was any different than he was then, or even if I could muster some other kind of feeling toward or for him than the ones I had in high school. It was really hard to even look at the page, but I made myself do it. It stirred up a lot of icky feelings in me that I’ve tried to put away, for good reasons, but I’m at a place now where I think I can look at some of those things and try to make something from them, because I feel like I’m in a place now where I might actually be able to do that, as opposed to who I was in those years of powerlessness when I wasn’t able to articulate anything about myself in a way that would have ever approached the point of being able to stand up for myself. Writing, for me, became a place where I learned how to do that, and am still learning. I think a struggle for a soul is appropriate terminology.

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